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Friday, June 27, 2014

Battling the Fight With Mental Illness--Our Struggle Continues.......

To all of my Facebook and Linked in friends:
As some of you might know, I've been battling a bi-polar mental health condition for over 20 years now.  To say the least it has been a long struggle in and out of mental health hospital wards that have included state run hospitals here in New Jersey where at times I was hospitalized for weeks on end.  I'd like to take a moment after all of these years to apologize to so many of my media connections for any outrageous ways I had treated you in the past that may or may not have been unprofessional or beyond reason.  Unfortunately, it is the nature of my illness that sometimes approached work in ways that were unacceptable.  Currently, I have grasped control of my illness and have been successful managing it in a way that is acceptable to my peers and professional colleagues.  I have been enrolled in a state run PACT program for progressive treatment to help me better understand my illness and progress to a point where I can see things clearly with the help of progressive psychotropic drugs that don't obscure my thinking.  It has been a long and arduous process that has seen me in mental health hospitals over a dozen times.  I believe it is important for all of you to know this in hopes that you don't discriminate against anyone you come in contact with that suffers from these kinds of conditions.  It is not our fault but unfortunately part of a process where we as mental health patients have become victims of a system that sometimes harbors our true potential and sets us on a course of hard knock learning in order to hopefully better managing our potential and ability to work within the community productively without becoming a menace to ourselves or others.  For many years, I did not completely understand these diseases and it has taken a long time to better become a person that can control the illness and not allow the illness to control me.  I've lost many friends along the way and have seen first hand what it is like to live amoungst the mentally ill without hope....without spirit and without any direction for the future.  Please understand that what I have experienced, I would not ever want to wish upon anyone.  Lonely and vacant mental hospital health wards have been an underlying theme in my existence as a mental health patient.  I've continued to be productive as an award winning documentary producer but understand it has all come with a price.  In the next months I hope to document what my experiences have been like under guard by the state mental health systems to give you all a better understanding of what this kind of existence has been like hoping that you all stay safe and well in your day to day existences.  Again, please forgive me for what ever kind of  out of balance treatment I have done to all of you my friends in the past.   I'm currently trying to rebuild a productive lifestyle that will hopefully bring me back into the creative circles that I was once a party to in a healthy and productive manner that will be mutually beneficial for everyone.  Mental health issues shouldn't be hidden away and unspoken about.  All of us must understand that this is a struggle that is at times so painful and considered a stigma that we should all better understand.  I love you all and thank you for taking the time to read my new mantra in media with hopes that through my upcoming work we all will take into consideration a better understanding of what good mental health and proper non discriminatory treatment is all about.  Take good care of yourselves and the ones you are with.....Your apologetic warrior of mental health issues, I remain, James Ford Nussbaum. 

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